And the city says...

For #brynsflowers2017, I needed to ask permission from my town so that all our hard work isn't taken down the very next day! So..... We've gotten the official go ahead to install the yarn bomb!!!!! YAY!!!!! Bryn's birthday is this Sunday, but the planters we are yarn bombing won't be taken out of their storage spot and placed on the bridge until May. We still get snow in April and the city is concerned with snow removal so they have to keep the bridge clear until snow season is REALLY over. I'm pretty bummed that we can't do the installation for her birthday. BUT it's not that far off, and it gives me more time to sew all the pieces together. Thank you to everyone who worked hard to get the squares to me as quickly as you did!! I'll be posting update pictures as I sew, sew, sew. play hard ... play hooky

Bryn's Butterflies at the Library

Some of my posts are sarcastic, others are funny, but some are serious too. This one is heartfelt. It's a post for my Bryn. She's my daughter who is now watching over me instead of living by my side. We lost her almost 4 years ago - just after her 5th birthday. Her 9th birthday is on Saturday and I've been going through periods of both avoidance and preparation.

I try to stay positive, upbeat, and excited for you, but sometimes it's hard. Even in the midst of everything my family has been through, I try to see the positive side. At least publicly. Privately it can be a little harder to always see the light, especially as we get closer to her birthday and the day that we lost her. So this post is me fighting with the two halves of my grief.

You may know that every year in April I orchestrate a yarn bomb for her birthday. I choose to celebrate her life and spread the joy that she had to others through those yarn bombs. In the past you've helped me create a flower garden on the fence at what would have been her elementary school, candy to hand out to anyone who needed a smile, and butterflies for the trees in the park.

It's the 4th year that we've had to celebrate without her and nothing about it is getting easier. Just the opposite. In my low moments I feel farther and farther away from her and even though her birthday didn't exactly sneak up on me (I tend to feel it very strongly as it approaches), it was hard to muster the energy to create something new this year. 

The response last year was SO overwhelming that I had enough butterflies to not only decorate the trees in the park, but also a tree in my town's Holiday Park and still have three bags of butterflies. They haven't been able to fly so instead of asking you to make something else, I wanted to give them their day in the sun. One of Bryn's favorite places was our local library - pushing the button that opens the door is pretty much the highlight of all my kids' day, not to mention story time, and the amazing children's librarian - so I teamed with them to create something that will spread smiles and joy.

I'm forever grateful that I live in such a supportive community and also for my extended crochet family who've been there through thick and thin. Words can't explain how much it has uplifted me when I needed it the most. 

So now that I've cried a little, I want you to step into Bryn's Butterflies...

play hard ... play hooky

The Butterflies Have (Finally) Been Released

It was a perfect day, with great friends, good weather, and much love!!! After such a busy and amazing weekend, I'm finding it hard to gather my thoughts about what it means to me to have you be a part of such a personal celebration of my daughter Bryn. So, I'll just let the pictures do it for me.

play hard ... play hooky

Bryn's Butterflies

Many of you have been with me long enough to experience the hardest moment of my life. The day we lost our daughter Bryn, a month after her 5th birthday. That was almost 3 years ago. I've had some major highs and lows since then. The highs have mostly come from the crochet community rallying behind me in support and love to make sure her smile is never forgotten.

Every year on her birthday I try to do something special with you all. Two years ago it was Bryn's Flowers - a major yarn bomb on the fence of the kindergarten she would have attended. Last year we handed out candy to let her know we "love her more than candy" - something she used to say to me.

This year, on April 16th she would have turned 8. So to do something that would have made her smile, let's make butterflies. LOTS of butterflies to hang from the tree in her favorite park. Ones that anyone can take if they need something to brighten their day. Bryn made people smile wherever she went. We can help her keep spreading that joy.

If you want to be a part of Bryn's 8th birthday celebration, here's the info you're looking for:

• Pattern: You can use any butterfly pattern you'd like. It'd be best if they're not too small since they'll be hanging in a big tree. Here is a collection of my favorite free butterfly patterns on Ravelry to give you inspiration - http://www.ravelry.com/bundles/10853
• Deadline: My mail is slow... really slow. So to be sure I get your butterflies in time to add them to the tree, please have them in the mail by Saturday, April 11th (Monday at the latest). But sooner is better!
• Extras: We will need lots of thin fishing line to hang all these beauties from the tree. If you don't crochet, or just want to clean out your husband's tackle box, please send it to the address below.
• Address: Send everything to...

Playin' Hooky Designs

Liz McQueen

PO Box 453

Salida, CO 81201

play hard... play hooky

It's all happening Friday

FINALLY! I get to see ZBB live! Two years... hundreds of messages... one singer... one beanie... Rolling Stone... and now the concert.

I can't tell you how excited I am. Really, even my thesaurus is failing me. This whole journey has been to remember my daughter Bryn and when Zac Brown wore my hat on stage it was like a little nod from her; an insiders wink that only a handful of people would even notice. 

And now I'm so grateful to experience the energy, the music, and the emotion in person. 

To celebrate with me, use the code ZBBHOOKY in my Ravelry shop through Thursday, 9/4 and get 40% off any pattern. (I need the gas money to get there; and maybe a tour t-shirt)

http://www.ravelry.com/designers/liz-mcqueen

Look for lots of pictures on Instagram Friday night to follow along. #brynsconcert

Read more...

• The original campaign
• One year later and the hats I sent
• He wore it!
• Playin' Hooky in Rolling Stone Magazine
• Playin' Hooky with ZBB in the Rolling Stone (the video)
• The news on the official ZBB website

A huge thank you to my bestie Poppy, who's going with me. You made the way for us to go. Without you I couldn't have done it. (heart)

play hard ... play hooky

And then this happened

Zac Brown... you've heard the name, maybe you've even read my story...

To recap, it's been a little over two years since I lost my 5 year old daughter, Bryn. Nothing about the last two years has been easy, but some things have helped me to smile and carry on her memory.

On top of yarn bombs in her honor (Bryn's Flowers and Bryn's Candy), a fan nudged me to start a campaign to get Zac Brown to wear a beanie I made. After a year and a half, that dream came true.

Well it seems like someone above is watching out and knew that I've been having some hard days. And then this happened.

As it's been through this whole campaign, it started with a fan. I got a message telling me that I should check out the Country Issue of Rolling Stone magazine. Not something I would naturally do, but this was an exception.

Living in a tiny town meant that I had to order it... and wait.

Flipping through the pages...

Oh cool, there's Brad Paisley with a pink guitar... I don't know why Ashley Monroe's talking about pot... there's a section about modern country stars and the hats they wear...

We all know Zac Brown wears a less than traditional country hat, but wait.. what? He's wearing MY beanie. In ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE. And they're talking about the hat he's wearing. Ignore the 'stylist' who doesn't like it. She obviously doesn't know what's up.

Words are failing me as I bring the whole campaign to a close. But who knows? Is it really over? 

There are a only a select few people (if you're reading this, you're one of them) who know the full story and meaning behind this seemingly small thing. It's all for my Bryn. 

I love you more than candy.

Find out more...

• The original campaign
• One year later and the hats I sent
• Playin' Hooky with ZBB in the Rolling Stone (the video)
• The news on the official ZBB website

play hard... play hooky

Bryn's Candy

Wednesday, April 16th, is my Bryn's 7th birthday. But it will be the second time we've had to celebrate without her. Last year, with LOTS of help, we put a flower garden on the fence of the Kindergarten she was supposed to go to.

It took me a lot longer to decide how to celebrate this year. I could never find the perfect project, and well honestly, I just ran out of energy to organize something huge. But with your help, we can still do something pretty cool.

I love you more than candy... that's what she said when I tucked her in at night. So this year, we're going to spread love and happiness through candy, and Bryn would have LOVED it!

I scoured Ravelry and  found two free candy crochet patterns on Ravelry that remind me of Bryn.

Here's what you do:

• Pinwheel Candy Pattern - http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/pinwheel-candy
• Lollipop Pattern - http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/lollipop-brooch
• Make up as many or few as candies as you want.
• The brighter the colors the better!
• Write a note, or leave them bare. 
• Put them out as a yarn bomb... leave them in random candy dishes... hand them out to strangers... as long as it will make someone smile.
• Get a picture of the candies in action.
• On Wednesday, post your pictures to Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter with the hashtag #brynscandy.

Thank you for your help! I can't put into words how much it means to me that you're willing to help me celebrate my amazing daughter and keep her memory alive.

play hard ~ play hooky

Update: I did it! I actually finished making all the candies I had hoped to for her birthday tomorrow. If you want to leave a note with your ‪#‎brynscandy‬ tomorrow and aren't sure what to say, here's something I just wrote...

For Bryn, a girl who loved life, lived big, and shared smiles. Here's a handmade candy to celebrate and spread love on her birthday. She isn't here so we'll do it for her. I love you more than candy.

HE WORE IT!!!

An idea... thousands of messages... a year and a half... one country singer... the dream came true!

Zac Brown honoring my daughter Bryn by wearing the hat I made him.

I'm in tears and a bit of shock as I write this. Forgive me if my words are inadequate.

It started a year and a half ago on a particularly hard day. I had just released my Shockwave Beanie pattern and the picture I posted of my husband reminded one fan of Zac Brown. She had the crazy idea of sending him a hat in hope that he would wear it in memory of my daughter Bryn. The idea grew and became a campaign. My family, friends, and of course my fans got involved and flooded the band's Facebook page, Twitter, and website asking for a response. 

We waited, but never heard back. And I was ok with that. Maybe a little disappointed, but the point of the whole thing was to remember Bryn and help lift my spirits during an impossibly difficult time. You did that tenfold, so for me it was already in part a success.

Back to my amazing fans. A few very dedicated and loving people continued on the hunt to find someone, anyone, who could get the hat in Zac Brown's hands. A full year later, one found success. I got in touch with a friend of Zac's who volunteered to do whatever he could to help. I immediately made two new hats to send, the original Shockwave and an Avalanche, to give him a choice. I also couldn't resist making a matching one for his baby boy on the way. 

More waiting. I thought about the campaign off and on, I'd get the occasional message that someone saw him wearing my beanie only to find out that it wasn't. But again, I was honored to have come so far with the dream. 

Yesterday it came true. I got a message of another sighting and I thought, "here it comes, another false alarm." I watched the video and as the camera panned in I thought, this might be it but it was still too far away. And then I saw it. Instantly I had tears running down my cheeks through my smile. I felt overwhelming joy knowing that he was giving Bryn this little shoutout. For a brief moment, she touched his life too. It was like an inside secret and the feeling is indescribable. I feel like I'm on the cover of the Rolling Stone!!!

Thank you's seem trivial, but they truly come from my heart to the woman with the idea, the fans who jumped in, the woman who wouldn't give up, the man who volunteered, and of course Zac Brown himself.

It still amazes and overwhelms me that so many people did all they could to make this one idea happen. It's a testament to the caring and support of our little community. And it was for my girl. Even though Bryn's not here, her spirit will continue to bring smiles, love, and sparkles forever. She and God are definitely watching me smile today. Mommy loves you more than candy.

Find out more...

• The original campaign
• One year later and the hats I sent
• Playin' Hooky with ZBB in the Rolling Stone (the video)
• The news on the official ZBB website

play hard ~ play hooky

ZBB and Playin' Hooky, a year in the making

UPDATE: The hats have been delivered! They arrived in Tennessee on 11/30 to Zac's friend. I don't know when he'll see him next, but at least I know the packaged made it!

If you've been with me for a while, you know that I lost my oldest daughter, Bryn, a month after her 5th birthday. You may also know that on a particularly hard day, I started a campaign to get Zac Brown to wear one of my hats. All because of a comment on this picture of my husband Colin wearing my (then) newest design, the Shockwave Beanie.

We worked hard and SO many of you posted, tweeted, and emailed the band letting them know that you wanted him to help remember my Bryn. But, we couldn't break through. No doubt he gets thousands of messages a day, so we can't be mad!

Recently I've been in touch with a fan who had some great news. She had dinner with her parents and their friend, a man who is friends with ZBB, and even stays in one of Zac's houses when he's in town. I was stunned. A year later and I thought I would never really get in contact with anyone this close. But it's real! So I got to work.

I remade the Shockwave from the picture along with an Avalanche Beanie that I thought was his style but also a little different than what he normally wears. I also couldn't resist making a matching one for his baby boy when he arrives!

  

Making the hats was the easy part. Writing the letter was a much harder thing to do. It's still very hard to talk about losing Bryn. But this morning, I was feeling strong enough to put into words what I was feeling.

I wrote the letter on the back of a collage I made with Bryn's pictures...

and sent everything on its way to Tennessee.

Thank you so much for all your love, support, posts, and tweets! It means more to me than I can say.

If I hear anything, I'll keep you posted. And if you see anything about it, let me know (I tend to be be out of the loop and the last one to know about things, haha)!

play hard ~ play hooky

Thank you's from a Kindergarten Class

The response to Bryn's Flowers from my community has already been amazing. So when I received a book in the mail with thank you's written and drawn by one of the kindergarten classes, it really touched my heart. To think that Bryn may have been in that class is hard, but good at the same time.

This evening I went by the fence to secure some of the flowers that have blown loose. That same kindergarten teacher happened to be driving by so she stopped to talk. She said that all the kids still talk about how much they like it. When they ask why it's there, the teacher tells them "There was a little girl who was supposed to be here this year, but she can't be. So her mom made this for her." Smiling through tears!

As I've done throughout this whole journey, I wanted to share the pages with you. I blocked out the names of the kids for privacy. I hope they make you smile! :)