Bryn's Butterflies at the Library

Some of my posts are sarcastic, others are funny, but some are serious too. This one is heartfelt. It's a post for my Bryn. She's my daughter who is now watching over me instead of living by my side. We lost her almost 4 years ago - just after her 5th birthday. Her 9th birthday is on Saturday and I've been going through periods of both avoidance and preparation.

I try to stay positive, upbeat, and excited for you, but sometimes it's hard. Even in the midst of everything my family has been through, I try to see the positive side. At least publicly. Privately it can be a little harder to always see the light, especially as we get closer to her birthday and the day that we lost her. So this post is me fighting with the two halves of my grief.

You may know that every year in April I orchestrate a yarn bomb for her birthday. I choose to celebrate her life and spread the joy that she had to others through those yarn bombs. In the past you've helped me create a flower garden on the fence at what would have been her elementary school, candy to hand out to anyone who needed a smile, and butterflies for the trees in the park.

It's the 4th year that we've had to celebrate without her and nothing about it is getting easier. Just the opposite. In my low moments I feel farther and farther away from her and even though her birthday didn't exactly sneak up on me (I tend to feel it very strongly as it approaches), it was hard to muster the energy to create something new this year. 

The response last year was SO overwhelming that I had enough butterflies to not only decorate the trees in the park, but also a tree in my town's Holiday Park and still have three bags of butterflies. They haven't been able to fly so instead of asking you to make something else, I wanted to give them their day in the sun. One of Bryn's favorite places was our local library - pushing the button that opens the door is pretty much the highlight of all my kids' day, not to mention story time, and the amazing children's librarian - so I teamed with them to create something that will spread smiles and joy.

I'm forever grateful that I live in such a supportive community and also for my extended crochet family who've been there through thick and thin. Words can't explain how much it has uplifted me when I needed it the most. 

So now that I've cried a little, I want you to step into Bryn's Butterflies...

play hard ... play hooky

The Butterflies Have (Finally) Been Released

It was a perfect day, with great friends, good weather, and much love!!! After such a busy and amazing weekend, I'm finding it hard to gather my thoughts about what it means to me to have you be a part of such a personal celebration of my daughter Bryn. So, I'll just let the pictures do it for me.

play hard ... play hooky

Snow Butterflies

We were all set to hang #brynsbutterflies in the park tomorrow... and then this.

We've gotten well over a foot of the white stuff in the last 24 hours and it's still coming down. At least another 2" or so has fallen since I took these pictures.

Since Bryn's birthday was on a Thursday, I scheduled to install the butterfly yarn bomb for this Saturday (tomorrow). Mother nature has her own plans. I don't want to make everyone trudge through slush, or heaven forbid if a tree branch were to fall on someone.

It's not over though, just postponed until next weekend. I'm sad that we won't be able to do it tomorrow, especially for those of you who were so generous and quick with getting your butterflies to me. Just know that this doesn't change how much it means to us - it only changes the date. Hopefully Bryn doesn't mind.

Bryn's Butterflies

Many of you have been with me long enough to experience the hardest moment of my life. The day we lost our daughter Bryn, a month after her 5th birthday. That was almost 3 years ago. I've had some major highs and lows since then. The highs have mostly come from the crochet community rallying behind me in support and love to make sure her smile is never forgotten.

Every year on her birthday I try to do something special with you all. Two years ago it was Bryn's Flowers - a major yarn bomb on the fence of the kindergarten she would have attended. Last year we handed out candy to let her know we "love her more than candy" - something she used to say to me.

This year, on April 16th she would have turned 8. So to do something that would have made her smile, let's make butterflies. LOTS of butterflies to hang from the tree in her favorite park. Ones that anyone can take if they need something to brighten their day. Bryn made people smile wherever she went. We can help her keep spreading that joy.

If you want to be a part of Bryn's 8th birthday celebration, here's the info you're looking for:

• Pattern: You can use any butterfly pattern you'd like. It'd be best if they're not too small since they'll be hanging in a big tree. Here is a collection of my favorite free butterfly patterns on Ravelry to give you inspiration - http://www.ravelry.com/bundles/10853
• Deadline: My mail is slow... really slow. So to be sure I get your butterflies in time to add them to the tree, please have them in the mail by Saturday, April 11th (Monday at the latest). But sooner is better!
• Extras: We will need lots of thin fishing line to hang all these beauties from the tree. If you don't crochet, or just want to clean out your husband's tackle box, please send it to the address below.
• Address: Send everything to...

Playin' Hooky Designs

Liz McQueen

PO Box 453

Salida, CO 81201

play hard... play hooky